ASU comp instructors' comments on "Are School Uniforms A Good Idea?"
Instructors pointed out some favorable characteristics:
1. The student provided good support for the argument (uniforms will ease peer
pressure, provide more studying time, and save money).
2. The essay is well organized with good use of transition words and phrases
(e.g., "Most importantly").
3. The writer maintains due focus on the topic (which is well chosen) and states
his/her position clearly.
4. The student's writing is tidy and grammatically sound.
Instructors suggested room for improvement:
1. One instructor took slight issue with parag. 3's argument: "this
argument is too general--time [spent] shopping is not a consideration for all
people."
2. Some instructors suggested that the next to last parag.
give a fuller explanation of how uniforms would save money.
3. The conclusion provides closure but needs a bit more development.
4. The writer doesn't support (or qualify) the statement
(final parag.) that "most students will disagree" with school
uniforms.
5. A few instructors thought the paper was a bit too "formulaic" in
its "five-paragraph theme" structure, but they note that this is a
relatively minor consideration. (Some instructors are strong proponents of
this sort of organization.)
Conclusion:
This is clearly a very good paper in its choice of a feasible topic, the clarity
of its ideas and arguments, in its organization (even if it is a bit formulaic),
and in its English usage. It is not perfect, but most of the instructors'
advice for correction is minor. According to the ten instructors, this paper
rates a low A.
Score: 91%